It's now the 400th anniversary of The Bard's death. He's best known for enriching English Literature with his fantastic plays and sonnets, which are still relevant and poignant today.
However, he also contributed something else to the world - he coined and used some absolutely excellent insults throughout his work.
These are all far more cutting and verbose than swearing, and won't make you known for having a potty mouth.
William Shakespeare: truly a genius. Here are some of the best.
1. Villain, I have done thy mother
Yep, Shakespeare basically invented 'your mum' jokes, so we thought we would ease you in to the list with a familiar one.
This line is from Titus Andronicus - Act IV, Scene ii.
2. Thou elvish-mark'd, abortive, rooting hog!
This is from Richard III - Act I, Scene iii and is certainly an extremely sick burn.
It's far better than using a four-letter expletive and will leave your opponent scratching their head.
3. Away, you starvelling, you elf-skin, you dried neat's-tongue, bull's-pizzle, you stock-fish!
This one is a five-part insult and only for use on very special occasions, lest you look hysterical.
This little gem is from Henry IV Part I - Act II, Scene iv.
4. Thou art a boil, a plague sore
Short but sweet, this insult packs a punch.
No one wants to be a plague sore. It's from King Lear - Act II, Scene ii.
5. Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon
Imagine being so filthy, you're too dirty even to be spat on.
What an incredibly clever and cutting jibe! It's from Timon of Athens - Act IV, Scene iii.
6. Would thou wouldst burst!
It isn't very nice to wish that someone would burst.
This insult is from Timon of Athens - Act IV, Scene iii.
7. The rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostril
This is leagues above telling someone they stink.
It's from The Merry Wives of Windsor - Act III, Scene v.
8. Poisonous bunch-backed toad!
Imagine being not just a toad, but a deformed toad at that.
This insult is from Richard III - Act I, Scene iii.
9. Away, you three-inch fool!
This means the person you are insulting is short. It's better used with men - as it also insults their manhood.
Very rude. It's from The Taming of the Shrew - Act III, Scene iii.
10. I scorn you, scurvy companion
This is absolutely brutal.
Tell someone this if you want to say they're not worth knowing. It's from Henry IV Part II - Act II, Scene iv.
11. Thou sodden-witted lord! Thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows
This means your opponent is a dumb drunkard, but isn't it beautifully expressed?
It's from Troilus and Cressida - Act II, Scene i.
12. I'll beat thee, but I would infect my hands
Some classic Shakespearean sass here.
It's also a really great way to get out of a physical fight, for those of us who are quicker of tongue than fist. It's from Timon of Athens - Act IV, Scene iii.
13. I am sick when I do look on thee
Sounds a bit more venomous than "you're so ugly, you make me sick".
This timeless jibe is from A Midsummer Night's Dream - Act II, Scene i.
14. Methink'st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee
This one is our favourite.
This person doesn't just deserve a slap - everyone the person you're insulting comes into contact with should hit them.
That's pretty harsh. It's from All's Well That Ends Well - Act II, Scene iii.
15. You poor, base, rascally, cheating lack-linen mate!
This means someone is terribly dressed, and they are also an awful person.
It's from Henry IV Part II - Act II, Scene iv.
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